Summer Mom Guilt: No Camp, No Schedule

The Summer Dilemma: Camps, “Rotting,” and the Financial Realities of Parenthood

A conversation at a baby shower highlighted a common struggle for parents during the summer months: balancing work, childcare, and financial constraints. While some parents opt for summer camps to keep their children occupied while they work, others, like myself, choose a different path, prioritizing time with their children and navigating the financial realities of childcare.

The discussion around summer plans often revolves around the perceived benefits or drawbacks of structured activities versus unstructured free time. Recent articles have explored the idea of letting children have a “wild” summer, arguing for the benefits of unscheduled time for creativity, inspiration, and simply experiencing boredom. Others question the idea of kids “rotting” all summer, suggesting that parents should focus on skill-building and resume-padding activities.

However, these discussions often miss the point. For many parents, the decision of whether or not to send their children to summer camp is primarily driven by financial considerations. The cost of childcare, especially during the summer months, can be prohibitive, forcing parents to make difficult choices.

The Financial Burden of Summer Childcare

For working parents, summer camps are often a necessity. They provide a safe and supervised environment for children while their parents are at work. However, the cost of these camps can be substantial, often exceeding the income of one parent. This financial burden can create significant stress and anxiety for families, especially those with multiple children.

The logistics of managing summer camps can also be overwhelming. Parents often have to juggle multiple camps with different start and stop times, transportation challenges, and varying supply lists. This can add to the already heavy mental load that parents, particularly mothers, bear.

Choosing Unstructured Time: A Financial and Personal Decision

As a teacher with flexibility during the summer months, I made the decision to forgo summer camps and spend time with my children. This decision was driven by both financial and personal reasons. The cost of camp for two children would have exceeded my summer income, making it an unsustainable option. Additionally, I valued the opportunity to spend quality time with my children and create lasting memories.

Our summer days are filled with simple pleasures: catching dragonflies in the backyard, listening to audiobooks, watching movies together, and engaging in the usual sibling bickering and wrestling. While these activities may not be as structured or enriching as summer camp, they provide valuable opportunities for connection, creativity, and relaxation.

The Myth of the “Ideal” Summer

The debate over summer camps versus unstructured time often revolves around the idea of the “ideal” summer. Some argue that children need structured activities to keep them engaged and prevent them from falling behind academically. Others believe that unstructured time is essential for fostering creativity, independence, and self-discovery.

However, the reality is that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to summer childcare. The best option for each family depends on their individual circumstances, financial resources, and personal values.

The Unequal Distribution of Labor

It’s important to acknowledge the unequal distribution of labor that often exists within families, particularly during the summer months. Mothers are often the primary caregivers and schedulers, bearing the brunt of the responsibility for planning and organizing childcare. This can lead to increased stress and burnout, especially for working mothers.

The articles discussing summer childcare are often written by women and quote women, highlighting the fact that mothers are more likely to be the ones managing the logistics of summer, whether their kids are in camp or at home. They manage roughly 71% of the planning, organizing, and scheduling within their households.

A System That Fails Families

The challenges that parents face during the summer months are a microcosm of the larger issues facing modern families. From agrarian-based school years to a lack of affordable childcare options and support for parents who are caretaking, the current system is failing families.

Ultimately, the debate over summer camps versus unstructured time is less about what children are doing and more about what parents aren’t doing. Parents, especially mothers, deserve a break from the constant cultivation and scheduling of their children. They deserve the opportunity to relax, recharge, and enjoy the seemingly endless summers of their childhood.

The focus should shift from judging parents’ choices to advocating for policies and programs that support families and ease the burden of childcare. This includes increasing access to affordable childcare, providing paid parental leave, and promoting a more equitable distribution of labor within families. Only then can we create a system that truly supports families and allows all parents to enjoy the summer months.