A Shift in Lifestyle and Expectations
Growing up in the leafy suburbs of south-west London, I was raised in a world where luxury seemed like a given. My family lived in a house on a quiet road, with nannies, expensive cars, and extravagant holidays. I never questioned how these things came to be—assuming that one day, I would replicate the same for my own children. My parents worked in finance, and their lifestyle felt natural, almost effortless. I believed that I could easily create a similar environment for my own family.
However, life didn’t go as planned. I missed out on becoming a tech billionaire, and my current salary is far from enough to afford a £4 million house near Richmond Park. Instead, I now live in a more affordable area outside London, commuting 40 minutes into the city with my husband and our two children. We don’t have nannies, nursery fees are a struggle, and our last holiday was a budget trip to Hungary.
The cost of living in London has skyrocketed over the years. In the late Eighties, the average house cost four times your salary. Today, a house priced around £669,000 would require 14 times the median London salary of £47,500. This, combined with wage stagnation since the 2008 financial crisis, has led to a significant decline in living standards for young families. Many people now find it difficult to afford basic necessities, including secure housing, childcare, and even maternity leave.
The fertility rate in England and Wales has dropped to its lowest level since records began in 1939. Affordability is a major factor, with many young people feeling they can’t support a family financially. Some choose not to have children due to the high costs of raising them. For instance, my husband’s brother decided against having kids purely because of financial concerns.
It wasn’t until my mid-twenties, when I was still childless, that I truly realized my children wouldn’t have the same upbringing as me. I was working in fashion, earning a decent salary for the industry, but buying a small flat in London was still a distant dream. Meeting my husband, who also chose a less well-paid career in the public sector, made things even more challenging. He had started in law but quickly realized he wasn’t suited for it. We both struggled with numbers and lacked the temperament for high-stress jobs like those at Goldman Sachs.
When we met, we were both renting. I was paying £600 a month for a tiny room in a shared house in Camberwell, while my husband spent £1,000 on a similar arrangement in Streatham. In 2020, just as the pandemic hit, my husband inherited a three-bedroom house in Sunbury, just outside London. We moved in with plans to renovate it over time, but the arrival of our two children in 2021 and 2023 made it clear that the renovation would be too costly and overwhelming.
After our second child was born, we started looking for a new place and eventually moved to Bedfordshire in 2024. We found a four-bedroom, 2,200 sq ft house in a quiet neighborhood with parks and tree-lined streets. While a comparable home in Richmond would cost over £2 million, ours cost £725,000, partly funded by the sale of the inherited Sunbury house. Although my father still lives in London, we’re about an hour away by train, which allows us to visit regularly without needing a long trip.
Our holidays are very different from what I experienced as a child. We no longer take tropical getaways; instead, we often travel on budget airlines, staying in Airbnbs and packing everything we can to avoid luggage fees. While my husband prefers to stay within the UK, I insist on going abroad. Our trips are more modest than the ones I had, but we manage to go every six months or so, wherever Luton can take us.
Childcare is another area where our experience differs from my own. My parents had a nanny because they worked long hours and earned a lot. For us, part-time nursery fees alone are a challenge, and hiring a full-time caregiver is simply unaffordable. However, we’ve found a way to balance work and family life. I work from home as a freelance writer, and my husband also works remotely two days a week. This allows us to be present for our children, helping with nursery drop-offs, bathtimes, and bedtime stories.
One aspect of my childhood that we aim to replicate is sending our children to private school. My husband strongly believes in this, and he has set aside most of the inheritance from his mother to fund their education. He feels it’s something she would have wanted for her grandchildren.
Ultimately, I’ve come to realize that material wealth doesn’t guarantee a happy childhood. While my children won’t grow up in a luxurious home or travel in fancy cars, they have something equally valuable: present parents, a connected family, and a focus on what truly matters. Our holidays may be memorable but slightly chaotic, our home isn’t cramped, and I’m grateful for the time I get to spend with them.
Sometimes, when I try to pack all my clothes onto a budget airline, I wish there was a little more money. But then my child jumps on me, interrupting my thoughts, and I remember that life, as it is, is pretty good.