Editor’s Note: Have a question for Dibi Fletcher? She’s definitely got answers. Or at least a perspective. Don’t hold back, shoot her a DM on Instagram and ask away. Here’s what she pulled out of the mailbag this week…
Hey Dibi…. I have 3 daughters, 13,16 and 18. We used to spend summers camping and going to the beach together, it was great, everyone seemed so happy. This summer the 16-year-old looks like she just stepped off the set of a zombie apocalypse set. Her and her mom recently had a huge blow out about her dying her hair black for the first day of school. My wife was adamant about our daughter not doing it, our daughter slammed out of the house and returned a few hours later with her head shaved. She won’t speak with her sisters anymore, if feels like we’re all being battered by her, even when she gives us the silent treatment. Do you have any suggestions? – Living in the Twilight Zone
Hey Living in the Twilight Zone…. I’m so sorry. It really sucks when you’re living through a situation where the whole family is being crushed by the behavior of a sixteen-year-old. The best advice I can offer is to get professional help, sooner than later. It’s especially hard on the other kids, as most don’t want to burden the parents with the problems they’re having, as they know you are already going through your own nightmare, and it completely changes the trajectory of everyone’s lives. It’s important for you all to be able to talk about what you’re going through, and being so close it’s difficult to make the tough decisions it takes to get things back on track. There are a lot of options available, please take advantage of them. I wish you and your family all the best.
Related: Hey Dibi: Could There Ever Be Another Company Like Astrodeck?
Hey Dibi… I own a surf shop on the East Coast, and my son has worked for me since he graduated from college, four years ago. I thought it would be temporary so he could enjoy a little time before starting a career in financial services that he spent years in school studying for. With each year he seems to be doing less work in the shop while surfing and skating more. I need help in the shop to grow the business but can’t afford to hire anyone while I’m paying him. It’s like having a teenager living home with my wife and I again. Our daughter’s married with kids of her own and doing great. What do I do to light a fire under him? – Wish I was Surfing
Hey Wish I was Surfing…. I believe your son is behaving in what’s referred to as the “Peter Pan Syndrome” while not an exact clinical diagnosis, it describes guys who avoid work, resist all commitments, rely on others for support, preferring a carefree, less demanding lifestyle, like Peter Pan from J. M. Berrie’s story. I believe that the “syndrome” is more widespread than you may imagine. With the skyrocketing cost of living, it’s harder than ever for young adults to go out on their own. But if he doesn’t start soon, he won’t and I assure you he’s not going to make the decision on his own, so I suggest you sit him down and explain that you’re hiring someone to help you in the shop and he needs to get a job elsewhere. He can live with you and start paying rent while he starts saving to move out on a reasonable date you both agree to. Good Luck to you both and hopefully you can catch a few waves together in the future as friends.
Hey Dibi… All the advertising geared towards surfing seems to make you think that it’s almost “Zen” like, when the reality with the crowds is anything but. Do the companies understand this, or do they care? – No Zen at Trestles
Hey No Zen at Trestles… You kinda’ answered your own question with the use of the word “advertising”. The definition: it is the practice and techniques employed to bring attention to a product or service, aiming to present it in terms of utility, advantages, and qualities of interest to consumers. Now, picture a beautiful wave in the sunset with someone perched on the nose riding from the outside, or a couple of guys fighting on the beach over peak priority with twenty-five E-bikes parked next to overflowing trashcans and an outhouse in the distance… Seems like a no brainer.
Related: Hey Dibi: Has Surfing Lost Its Cosmic Vibrations?
Hey Dibi… I’m a surf coach. I teach people water safety, how to read the currents, how to line themselves, how to paddle, wave priority, all the basics to build on. It seems like my local competitors who are killin’ it, brand themselves as “Wave Whispers”. I’d like to grow my business; do you think I should do some whispering? – Waves Are My Game
Hey Waves Are My Game…. Perish the thought! Trends come and go, hopefully “Wave Whispering” will go the way of the Pet Rock. I understand it’s being used as a hook and it may have a bit of temporary traction, but nothing replaces skill and if that’s what you’re offering it will pay off in the long run. Stick to the basics and offer value, word will travel, and you’ll build a solid customer base who will return and tell their friends and most of the whispers will have moved on…
Hey Dibi… I heard Costco is coming out with a new line of foam surfboards to go along with all the soft-tops they already sell. What do you think about it? – No More Tourists
Hey No More Tourists…. WOW! I figure that with the announcement of the 2028 Olympics at Trestles will change the local landscape more than anyone could have imagined when they pushed to get surfing recognized as an Olympic sport.