Constance Marten’s Family Secrets: Faith, Estrangement, and Flight

The Enigmatic Life of Virginie de Selliers: Mother, Therapist, and the Shadow of Her Daughter’s Tragedy

The case of Constance Marten, the convicted aristocrat found guilty of manslaughter by gross negligence, has cast a spotlight on her mother, Virginie de Selliers. Virginie’s life, revealed in fragments since her daughter’s sentencing, presents a complex portrait of a woman grappling with personal and familial turmoil. A psychotherapist specializing in trauma, family dynamics, and grief, Virginie’s professional life ironically mirrors the very issues plaguing her own family. She hired private detectives to find her daughter on multiple occasions and even attempted to pass her a Christmas card during a pre-trial hearing. These details paint a picture of a mother desperately trying to connect with her estranged daughter amidst a devastating situation.

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A Pilgrimage to Nigeria: A Turning Point?

One of the most intriguing aspects of Virginie’s story is her connection to Holy Trinity Brompton, an evangelical church in West London. Both Virginie and Constance attended the church, and in 2006, they embarked on a three-month pilgrimage to the Synagogue, Church of All Nations (SCOAN) in Lagos, Nigeria. This experience is believed by many to have profoundly impacted Constance, potentially marking a turning point in her life.

While Virginie’s stay at SCOAN was shorter than her daughter’s, the allegations of abuse against the church’s leader, TB Joshua, raise troubling questions. Did Virginie unknowingly expose her daughter to a dangerous environment? Constance herself later suggested that her mother was responsible for introducing her to the evangelical world that ultimately led her to Nigeria.

A Therapist’s Expertise: Mirroring Her Own Trauma

Adding another layer of complexity, Virginie’s work as a psychotherapist specializing in trauma, particularly mother-daughter relationships, is particularly striking. In 2024, just a year after Constance went missing, Virginie responded affirmatively to a potential client on LinkedIn who inquired about her experience with “mother/daughter trauma PTSD in a cross-cultural environment of different multicultural moral values.” This direct experience in the very issues that plagued her own family adds a poignant dimension to her story.

The Father’s Departure and a Family Divided

The Marten family’s history is marked by significant upheaval. Constance’s father, Napier Marten, a former page to Queen Elizabeth II, left the family when Constance was just nine years old. His departure for Australia to pursue whale watching and spiritual discovery created a void in the family dynamic. Virginie remarried a wealthy Belgian investment banker, Guy de Selliers, and moved the family to London.

Estrangement and Attempts at Reconciliation

Constance’s relationship with her family, particularly her mother, became increasingly strained over the years. In 2016, she sent a text message to friends and family, severing contact. Virginie, desperate to find her daughter, hired private detectives to locate her.

Despite the estrangement, Virginie made several attempts to reconcile with Constance. There was a brief reconciliation after the birth of Constance’s first child in 2017. Later, in 2022, Virginie offered to care for Constance’s two oldest children, who had been taken into foster care. However, she withdrew her offer after reviewing her daughter’s files, citing concerns about the “enmeshed and abusive” relationship between Constance and Mark Gordon.

A Mother’s Plea: An Open Letter

In February 2023, a month after Constance went missing with her newborn baby, Virginie issued an open letter to her daughter. In it, she expressed her love and concern, offering her support and urging Constance to seek help. She acknowledged the challenges Constance had faced but emphasized her belief in her daughter’s intelligence and potential.

The Brothers Marten: A Family Portrait

The Marten family extends beyond Constance and her mother. She has three brothers: Maximillian (Max), Tobias (Toby), and Frederic (Freddie).

• Maximillian (Max) Marten: The eldest brother, Max, married Ruth Aymer, Constance’s best friend from childhood. He inherited the family estate but later sold it. He appears to have had no contact with Constance in recent years.
• Tobias (Toby) Marten: Toby was the only sibling to attend Constance’s trial. He is the managing director of a satirical baked goods company.
• Frederic (Freddie) Marten: The youngest brother, Freddie, remains a mysterious figure. Little is known about his life or his relationship with Constance.

The absence of Max and Freddie from Constance’s trial raises questions about the family dynamics and the extent of their involvement in her life.

Unanswered Questions and Lingering Mysteries

The story of Virginie de Selliers and her daughter, Constance Marten, is filled with unanswered questions and lingering mysteries. What truly happened during their trip to Nigeria? How much did Virginie know about the alleged abuse at SCOAN? What led to the estrangement between Constance and her family? And how do Constance’s brothers feel about their sister’s tragic descent?

As the legal proceedings continue, more details are expected to emerge. However, for now, many of the mysteries surrounding this extraordinary story remain. The sentencing in September will be a pivotal moment, but it may not provide all the answers. The Marten family saga is a complex and tragic tale of privilege, faith, and the enduring bonds of family, however fractured.